Unconventional
by BStoecklin
Summary: Lily Potter's life might seem solved, but destiny likes to mock her family, in particular. How far is she willing to go to protect her loved ones? How much is she willing to let go? Big mysteries often start with a secret, and this one is not the exception.
1. The Ball

The door opened with a screech and she closed her eyes as the light hit her face. When the person behind it noticed the lonely girl on the floor, he slid inside and closed the door. Lily could hear him moving through the dark and, when she thought he was going to reach her, he stopped. He returned to the door and, after a few seconds of looking blindly for the knob, he locked it.

Lily felt her shoulders tense when her sight got used to the darkness again. She recognized the spiked locks of bright hair, the big circle in his earlobe, the way he walked, as he got near again, as he sat down beside her. She didn't say a thing, she looked to the floor and hoped he hadn't notice her crying. She wasn't the type of girl who cried, even less in front of people, she liked being strong, or at least pretending she was. She hugged her knees more strongly, the green dress wrinkling under her arms. She was feeling pathetic, she hated it.

He didn't dare break the silence as his long legs slowly slid through the floor.

—Lils, I wondered where you could have possibly gone.— He whispered in his usual soft tone, looking for her eyes in the shadows, once he was settled. —I didn't want you to miss Vic's number

—Sorry for ruining your night, Ted. And Vic's too.— was all she said, not even lifting her head from in between her arms. Her voice was steady-sometimes she even surprised herself with her ability to act out- but almost a whisper. She didn't want him to see her completely red and wet face.

—Bloody hell, Lily- That was not what I meant.— he wasn't angry, she knew, it was just his way of expressing himself. He lifted his hands to his face for a minute, in search of calmness. She also knew he was searching for something to say but couldn't find it. He was not very good with words, he never had been.

—I just... don't like balls, fancy dresses, boring m-

—But you do like bathrooms.— he cut off her poor explanation, trying to be funny. She didn't laugh. She was trying too hard not to cry to laugh at his stupid jokes, the ones that never failed to make her smile before. He noticed and smiled awkwardly, even if she couldn't see him.

—I don't like girls crying.— he said slowly, as if raising the tone of his voice could break something. "Stupid Teddy" Lily thought "I'm already broken" She lifted her head, because it was pointless trying to hide it now.

—I don't like YOU crying.— He added, looking at her with something that almost made her sick: pity. Merlin knew she didn't like it either. He lifted his hand. She shook her head, her too long fringe slowly falling over her eyes. He took it back.

—This is the girls' bathroom, Teddy, you could get in t-

—Trouble. I know, Lil.— he sighed. A boy in the girls' toilet was bad, but a teacher was even worse. Lily was surprised no one had knocked on the door. After all, girls always were retouching make up before the kind of song Vic was going to sing, knowing they were going to be kissed. Usually, that's what she would have been doing too. Not that night, though.

—But you haven't danced all night and you've been waiting all year for this ball and your cousin is singing for the whole school, which is a pretty big thing, and she needs you there... and you haven't danced all night and Wood is out looking for you.

She knew it was all true -except for the "Wood is out looking for you." Zane would never look for her when the room was full of pretty girls who didn't waste the night crying. Yes, she was pretty, she was popular, she was a Potter, but she had a big temper and was young, there were a lot of things he wanted to do but Lily didn't even think about them.

He was out of breath and out of things to say, she could almost hear him thinking really hard beside her, frowning in the dark.

—I don't like slow dancing. It's lame... and guys always step over your feet or try to grab your ass.— was her poor argument. She rubbed her eyes with one hand, making sure the tears were gone. They were, but the hurt was still there, closing her throat, filling her chest. Teddy struggled not to laugh beside her and finally managed to keep a straight face.

—Please, Albus is around, no one would dare, Lily. And, besides— any other reason why Teddy thought a guy wouldn't touch Lillian Potter's butt was suddenly forgotten, because, outside, the music had stopped.

A sweet voice talked into the microphone. Teddy sighed. Lily bit her lip. He was not missing this, he couldn't, it was his girlfriend out there who was going to perform. Of course Lily was important to him, but not in that way. She wasn't worth letting Victoire down.

Victoire seemed to had all she didn't. Beauty, brains, grace, talent, sexyness, Teddy.

—You should go.— she said, breathing heavily, keeping the tears in her eyes, staring at the wall in front of them, ignoring his knee over her emerald dress, his hand so close to hers on the floor. She wasn't like that, she wasn't going to cry in front of him. Not again. Not anymore. She was not the child she had been before, there were certain things she could not let show. She was strong, she was fierce, everybody knew that, Teddy should have too.

The band started playing in the Great Hall. An increasing, slow, music sneaking through the bottom of the door.

Teddy Lupin smirked the way that made a thousand of students melt, but Lily was not looking. She was focusing on the white dots that occasionally squeezed into the dark bathroom.

—I couldn't leave my Lils all alone in here, could I? Moaning Myrtle is always stalking in the pipes.— he whispered and, even if she wasn't watching, she could hear him smiling. —Besides, Lilylu, you haven't told me what's wrong.

How could he be so oblivious? But then it hit her. Of course he was oblivious, he was a boy, he was Teddy. He was always oblivious. He didn't do it on porpouse, he just wasn't able to read people behind facial expressions.

Victoire Weasley's voice raised over the music, soft as a caress. Lily imagined her blue ice eyes moving through the crowd, searching for the man she was stuck with in the bathroom. She almost rejoiced, selfishly, because, for once, Vic didn't have it all, but Teddy's hand over hers made her feel ashamed of her own feelings. And warm. And dizzy.

—I'm sure she isn't even aware I'm gone, she's too focused on the singing.— he added, noticing her gaze over the door. Lily almost pittied her cousin. He was such an idiot, sometimes.

She turned to him, trying to make his features in the dimness. Was he being serious? Of course he was. Again, he was Teddy.

Silence fell between them and the song got to the chorus. She could imagine Vic's dissapointment, but her own pain was stronger.

—Maybe I don't want you to know, Ted.— she said in a whisper, letting her head hit slowly the wall behind her, her hand slipping out of his hold, her cheeks colouring. He couldn't notice in the dark, anyway. She didn't lie because she liked being honest -at least most of the time-, she decided just to omit information. She hadn't dare to move before, but it was distracting and she couldn't afford it. She felt her eyes a bit swollen after all the crying.

—You used to tell me everything...— he argued.

That was way before she knew she was in love with him, way before she turned fifteen... and they never talked about feelings, at least not that kind of feelings. Lily was not a sentimental girl.

—It's not you. I'm not telling anyone.— she sounded determined and he knew it was going to be really hard to get the thruth out of her, she was the most stubborn person in England, for all he knew.

—Is it Wood involved in this? I'm his teacher, Lils, but if I found out he hurt you or tried to touch your butt... Oh, Merlin, he's going down.— she could have laughed at the irony. And at the joke, too. Instead, she sighed.

—No.— she answered and raised from the floor, standing just as the music got to it's highest point and Victoire's perfect voice got stronger.

It took Teddy a minute to realize what she was doing.

—Lily, don't walk out on me.— he asked, standing too, passing a hand over his spiky blue hair. —I'm just trying to help y-

—I don't need your help, Edward. Really, thanks, but.. no, thanks.— it was serious, Teddy realized, she never called him Edward.

He couldn't help her and she couldn't talk to him about that. It was stupid, she had to accept it. Spending the night in that lonely bathroom -which wasn't even a real bathroom because they had just charmed the door of the trophy room for the evening-, ruining her make-up and her dress was stupid. Crying was stupid, too. Lily got to the door and unlocked it.

—I'll be okay once I get to my room.— and that was the last thing she said before she got out.

The lights were low, but they still made her half-close her eyes. When she got used to it, she noticed Vic over the stage in her stunning red dress, singing the last notes of the song. She also noticed the couples dancing around the room and a few loners on the tables by the side. There was a group of girls side by side, but they were not talking to each other or really concerned on what was going on. Not even one of that girls was crying, she thought, they just looked annoyed, and they were far worse than her.

—Banshee! You filthy s-

Lily jumped back, almost bumping into Teddy, who was behind her with a face that reminded of a sad puppy.

In first place, the redhead noticed the door had hit someone and, secondly, she noticed that that someone wasn't happy about it, of course.

—Watch your language, Malfoy, or I'll have to take points from Slytherin.— said Teacher Teddy -it was always weird to see him acting like a grown up; sometimes Lily forgot he was twenty four-, while he grabbed one of Lily's shoulder and put himself in front of her. Malfoy arched one of his eyebrows.

—You watch your ilegal stuff, Mr. Lupin.— answered the egocentric little shit that Malfoy was, at least in Lily's mind, pointing with his head to the dark bathroom behind them. What was he doing beside the door anyways?

—That's it, ten points from Slytherin. Now shut it.—and with that, Teddy left his grip on Lily, turning to the stage, where Vic had finished her song. Applauses rised from everyone at the room. —Now, If you'll excuse me, I have some flowers to give.— he gave a look at Lily, that clearly meant "we'll talk about this later", and walked towards his girlfriend. He didn't even hear Scorpius saying "You think I care?" over the sounds of admiration Victoire had provoked.

Lily rolled her eyes, without realizing. She felt suddenly more like her usual self, not that weak pathetic child she had been in the toilet.

—Werewolf genes, powerful stuff, man.— said Malfoy, analazing her from the bottom to the top. She was a mess. Her bun was completely undone, her bright and chopped locks framing her face and falling to her shoulders. Her eyes and nose were red, her cheeks stained with black, her dress completely wrinkled.

—Shut up before I hex you— grunted Lillian Potter before storming to the big wooden door of the Great Hall, picking up the fabric of her dress a little bit so she wouldn't fall.

—Slytherin's colour looks surprisingly good on you, Potter!— shouted Scorpius behind her, because he had to bother anyone who crossed his path and knew the Potter's and Weasley's had their prejudices against his house, even if they liked to say they didn't. Or that was what Lily thought, because she really didn't know him. He was just another student in his brother's year and the quidditch captain of his team. A lot of girls cared about the stupid prick, because he had the right looks, because he had money and didn't care about absolutely anything but Lily was not one of them, her eyes always had been over someone else and she doubted she could ever move on.

She didn't reply, she didn't turn, she just lifted her hand and gave him the finger. She was a Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake, there was no betraying her own House with accepting that kind of twisted , Malfoy was an asshole.


	2. The Train

Lily was definitely not a morning person. Specially not when it was Saturday. Specially not when Tara was talking non stop about how her boyfriend had been the most romantic guy ever known by mankind last night in the Christmas ball. The noise around them didn't help either. Albus asking her if she was okay in front of her classmates made it only worse. Rose giving her a pitty smile from the Ravenclaw table frustrated her. Dominique enjoying the rumors going on about her made her mad. Roxanne giving her cookies before sitting with her Hufflepuff mates made her feel pathetic. But Hugo sitting awkwardly in silence in front of her was more than she could take. At least Zane hadn't tried to talk to her.

—Oh! And here comes the best part! He took me to the gardens after the ball, you know, when everyone was supposed to be returning to the bedrooms and he said he was going to write to me everyday while we were home and that he was even going to visit! And it was snowing! And he said he would always keep me warm and that he wanted to meet my parents. But, Merlin! That wasn't even the best part! Guess what! He had hidden his guitar in the bushes! He had written me a song! It went like th-

—Shut up, T, you're giving me a headache— she grunted, letting her head fall over the table. She was not in the mood for stupid boyfriend talk. Finnigan wasn't even that great. She liked him, of course, it was Tara's boyfriend, it was her friend, but she didn't like him enough to spend her morning listening about him.

Tara sighed and said something about Lily being in a particularly bad mood, which she didn't even listen to.

—You know what people are saying, Lils? They say that Teddy and you were smoking mandrake on the bathroom. That's bad, Lil. Teddy could loose his job-

—Really, Hugo? You think THAT's what happened? You think I smoke? You don't say a word all morning and when you finally fucking talk to me is to tell me that you think I was smoking with my teacher in the fucking bathroom? Banshee, Hugh, I thought you were on my side!— exploded Lily, but not as loud as both of them had expected her to. She was not stupid, even when she was mad, she was not giving the other students more to talk about. Her rage was more passive aggresive, her words filled with it, but her voice no more loud than if she was telling him what a beautiful morning that was.

—Woah, man, that's not what I said! Bloody hell, Lillian, can't you just tell us what the fuck is wrong? Last night you were absolutely fine, you even danced with me and the lads! You were in such a good mood, Lils, Merlin! And then you disappeared! What happened, mate? You also missed Vic's song! Don't think I didn't noticed, most of the school did after you gave Malfoy th-

—The finger, yes, Hug, that's exactly what I did. After I went out of the toilet and apparently hitt him with the door and he was suuch a jerk to Ted. And yeah, Ted was behind me. How did everyone find out, anyway? I guess it's obvious it was that little snake fucker, I'm gonna crush him.— she wasn't even as angry as she said, it was how what everyone was saying could affect Teddy's carreer mostly that made her angry. Also knowing that the people in the Great Hall - now completely back to normal, except for the falling snow and the Christmas decorations- were watching her and weren't even being subtle about it. She smiled to a girl near Lorcan Scamander in the Slytherin table, who was staring at her. Both were. Half the table was. The girl turned away, embarrassed, and both Scamander twins exploded in laughter. Lily noticed Malfoy wasn't there. Playing it safe, she thought.

To be clear, Lily hadn't a thing for Slytherin. She didn't hate them, she had a few mates in there, her own brother was even a snake, but she had that common Gryffindor way of talking about them. The rivalry had always existed and it did even after the war. Not like before, the students didn't hate each other, but it was a serious thing when it came to quidditch.

For some reason Slytherin's believed the Weasley's had something against them, even if Albus was there. It probably was Dominique's fault, whose long term ex boyfriend, who had cheated on her, was a Slytherin. Ravenclaws didn't like Slytherin too much, they thought they wanted to appear smart when clearly everyone knew who was the smartest House in school. Dominique thought that. That was one of the reasons Lily didn't really liked her. Also because she was a copy of her sister, a bit uglier and graceless, but still a copy. Though Lily did like Vic, and that was a bit of a problem. That was probably why she disliked Dom, because there was not really a good reason to like her and she was a perfect scape goat for her hate towards her sister.

—And you thought people wouldn't find out? Blimey, Lils!— Tara Dashwood giggled like a four year old would. Sometimes Lily wondered how had she ended up with someone who was so happy all the time and why she kept hanging around with her. Not seriously, though, Tara was one of her oldest friends.

—Yeah, Lils! This is Hogwarts, rumours fly! Besides, you are Lily Potter, duh! Chaser, celebrity, hot!— and there was Finnigan. The redhead had wondered when he would show up. He was a Hufflepuff but he had the habit of eating with them at the Gryffindor table. Lily smiled, as sarcastic as always. It was funny imagining him singing a song to Tara. And playing the guitar! Who knew he could? Lily thought she had to start paying more attention to what her friends told her and, also, that she had to listen to that song.

—You just didn't call Lily hot, Harry, did ya?— joked Tara, looking with poison at him from the corner of her eye, as he was hanging over her, with his arms around her neck. Nick laughed and kissed Tara's cheek, after telling her for the hundreth time not to call him by his middle name. Lily hated their public demonstrations of affection. Suddenly, they were all laughing. Yes, even Lils, she couldn't help it, they were such idiots. Thank Merlin she had them, or else, she would have been punching Malfoy by now or screaming at some first year kid to stop staring.

—By the way, Lily, you know McGonagall won't believe it, right? I mean, Mr. Lupin is safe.— said Nick, making some third year move and sitting next to his girlfriend. Lily rolled her eyes.

—I'm not stupid, Nicholas. Of course she won't believe it, there are always fucking rumours going around. She might ask Ted- and, for Merlin's good old pants, please don't call him Mr. Lupin, it sounds stupid.— some weird noise came from Hugo's mouth, like a repressed giggle. —Woah, I just rhymed. Anyway, I was saying that she might ask Teddy about it, but just to be sure. I mean, she can't just hear people talking about how some of her teachers smoked mandrake and do nothing, it would be completely unprofessional. Poor woman, the shit she has to put up with...

—I bet it was worse in our parents time, Lils... It was war, ya know.— said a mass of brown curls from the table. Hugo was sipping the rest of his pudding. Why? Only he knew.

—Eww, Hugh! That's gross, stop it!— said another voice and a blonde girl sat besides Lily. The latter one shut her mouth and smiled at her.

—Oh, Alice! Shut it! You know what's gross? You being always late!— Nick laughed, almost spitting his pancake out, Tara softly smacked Hugo's head and Alice rolled her eyes and brushed her long hair off her shoulder.

—That doesn't even make sense.— voiced Lily, touching for the first time since she had woken up the food. She was having some strawberry's cake and some of the cream was around her mouth. Everyone in her little selective group laughed.

It was always nice going back home, even if it was just for a while. The only thing Lily wasn't so happy about was the Christmas dinner at the Burrow. She loved her grandparents, she loved their house and everything they did every year over the holidays, but she just didn't wanted to see Victoire again. There was not escaping that dinner, though, it was one of the few times over the year that the whole family was together. Or almost, because some Christmases Rose and Hugo went to Hermione's parents and the Delacour went to France and Molly and Lucy to Audrey's mom and Fred and Roxanne to Angelina's dad. It didn't happen often, because usually they made that trips during other holidays, but sometimes they would want to spend Christmas with their other part of the family. That Christmas no one was going away, though. And that dinner also meant seeing uncle Charlie -who was almost never around- and some family friends. She didn't want to miss it. She wouldn't miss it. She just had to make up her mind, to prepare herself to all that PDA from Teddy and Vic, as always. And she was not going to cry. Not in the Burrow. Not anymore. Not ever.

Lily opened the door of the compartment and she was followed inside by the same people who sat beside her at breakfast, except for Alice, who was a prefect. There was also Sarah Bell, a girl a year below them, but who was really cool, according to Lily.

She sat down in the comfy scarlet seat, putting her feet over the one across her. Hugo sat down beside her, Tara and Nick in front of her. Sarah debated a bit where to sit and, finally, she sat next to Hugo, like Lily knew she would.

The thing was that Sarah had a thing for her cousin and, because the redhead knew, she had invited her to join them. The only problem was that Hugo seemed to have a thing for Alice, who was completely in love with Garret Sutton, who was in sixth year and had a girlfriend, but Alice said -hoped- they would break up before the end of the year. Anyway, Lily thought Sarah was a nice girl and that she could get Hugo out of his hopeless crush and now, with Alice away, maybe it was time to do something. It would keep her busy the whole train ride, and that was worth it. Like that, she wouldn't have to think about anything else.

—Hey, Hugh, move a bit, you are crushing me into the window.— she said, from her very comfortable position, casually blowing her fringe away.

—What are you talking about, Lily? You have all the sp-

—I said move, okay?— she said, rolling her eyes. Tara arched an eyebrow, with her head close to Nick's shoulder and her legs bent under her, but said nothing. Nick murmured something into Tara's mousy brown hair, but no one knew what, except her. Sarah smirked, she must have known Lily's intentions. Hugo reluctantly obeyed. He usually did what Lily told him, but that time he did it because he pitied her situation. She knew it and she hated it, but she didn't show it.

Hugo ended up really close to Sarah, whose face Lily couldn't see, but she knew she was trying really hard not to blush. Sarah wasn't a girl who blushed anyway, Lily had noticed that. That was one of the things she liked about her.

Some time later, Lily was sleepy. She had squeezed on her seat, removing her feet from the one across her, letting Nick and Tara have more space. Now things were really awkward in the compartment, Hugo basically being crushed to Sarah and the conversation a few minutes dead. There was no more explosive snap or guess the flavour of the bean playing.

They were silent a bit, then Lily heard her cousin - who, by the way, was still chewing some bertie botts' beans- ask Bell something about her classes, but she pretended to be asleep. She hoped Hugo wouldn't get a bad flavour and vomit over the fourth year.

As always, Finnigan and Tara were on their own world, doing Merlin knew what. Thankfully, she didn't had to see it. She could still listen, though, which was kind of disgusting.

Lily liked talking, but she appreciated the silence once in a while. Ignoring the sounds of her friends, she wondered what she was going to tell Teddy when he brought up the conversation again, and hoped he wouldn't go to his father and tell him all about how she had ruined her own night at the ball. She hoped that Teddy still had that confidenciality they used to, that having grown up hadn't change that fact. Her mother would kill her if she found out how she had ruined her dress, after all grandma Molly had done. She had made the dress of every single one of her granddaughters. Well, the one's still at Hogwarts. And Victoire's, obviously. She had really put a big effort in them, choosing exactly the colours that made them look fantastic. Rose had had a midnight blue dress for her olive skin and bushy dark red hair, Roxy's had been pink contrasting with her dark skin and hair, Dominique's light blue matching her eyes and Victoire's lavender, making her pale skin look sophisticated, almost like china.

But what was she even thinking about? That stuff didn't matter. Which really did was what she had decided while lying on her bed last night. She needed to forget Teddy Lupin. And make Malfoy swallow slugs. One of that things was going to be really hard. You can guess which one.


	3. The Start

The train's horn echoed all around the station, it's gray smoke raising in between the bricked walls, it's wheels tearing sparks from the railroads while it approached the platform. All the first years where pressed to the windows, smiling like it was Christmas morning -which wasn't very far, anyway- and waving energetically when they spotted their family in the crowd.

In Lily's compartment things weren't that exciting. Alice had visited some time during the trip and that had made Sarah awkward. Albus had made sure Lily was okay, again, and then had left with his quiet and shy friends who didn't even talked to Lily or the others. Really, why wasn't her brother in Hufflepuff or something? Lily wondered, because he wasn't really Slytherin's material and all of his friends weren't in his house either. Or at least not the ones that Lily knew. Did he liked being a snake? He had never complained.

Rose had come to say hi too, with, oh, surprise! The perfect prefect Dominique. As fellow Ravenclaws they were quite close and Rose being Head Girl, Dominique probably wanted to step into her footsteps. They had stayed for a bit and then they continued their round.

Then, Lily was sitting upside down, with her bright hair falling from the seat, not long enough to reach the floor. Tara was sitting over the little table by the wall -which was covered in snacks and their wrapping- making little braids all over Lily's hair. Hugo was reading some muggle comic a guy from his dorm had lent him and Nick and Sarah were playing another round of magical chess in the floor, which was kind of hard. Occasionally, Hugo would bent over and advice Sarah, which made Lily smirk from her weird position.

When the train stopped, they all rose to their feet but took their time putting the compartment in order and gathered their stuff. They were messy, but felt bad leaving their trash there for someone else to clean, so everyone's pockets ended full of it.

Everyone put on their coats and winter stuff, because it was really cold at that time of the year. Remembering the snow, Lily bothered Nick with the song he had written - Tara had made him sang it for them- and the fact that he had made his girlfriend go freeze outside to be romantic.

Hugo had his previous Christmas' Weasley jumper, which Sarah thought was cute, and Tara argued saying that Nick looked cuter with her pink hat. They all agreed, laughing.

Outside the compartment, in the carriage, people where pushing to get out, so they waited inside, peeking from the door, to see the crazy students and criticize their euphoria. Tara criticized her own friends lack of enthusiasm instead.

Lily was adjusting her really long scarf while Hugo complained about the fact that they had to wait when a knock on the compartment opened door made them all look up.

Scorpius Malfoy was standing there, in the middle of the hall, as if people hadn't to pass through there, with one hand on the wall, just chilling. Every student squeezed through his side instead of asking him to move, not even looking at him. Except for some girls, which annoyed Lily. She rolled her eyes. He had to ruin her newly found good mood, of course.

—What do you want? Just get out of the way already, people want to pass— said the little redhead, moving through her friends to get to the door.

—Oh, just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas, Potter.

—Wow, that's really nice of you. But... wait, are you expecting me to do the same?— she answered, sarcastically, and decided that waiting was for the weak. She smiled as fakingly as she could, pushed him aside and strolled down the hall, with her coat opened and her backpack over one shoulder. She had to meet Alice. And her family, of course. She shouted a "Bye guys! See ya around! Write me! Not you, Malfoy!" and descended the stairs into the platform.

—Lils!— she couldn't see who was calling her -she was really petite- but she would have recognized that voice everywhere.

—Jamie! You came!— She shouted, looking around on the point of her feet, and someone grabbed her arm and pulled her in a hug.

She choked, as if she couldn't breath, and pushed her brother's chest back, to see his face.

—Bloody hell!— she screamed and exploded in laughter. —Who told you you could rock a bear, James?—

—Mum said-

—I say you looked like a hobo.— her freckled cheeks reddened with the effort of laughing and also the cold wind. He let her go and her fringe fell over her eyes with the movement. She suddenly noticed people staring, but didn't bother. She was used to it.

—Albus said it was cool.— argued James, who never transmitted Lily what did her mom think about the beard.

—Well, he lied.— She said, and lifted the straps of her backpack over her shoulders. He started to move and Lily followed.

—Who said you could rock dreads, Lils?— he joked, looking at her hair over the shoulder, almost crashing into someone.

—You, twat! They are braids!— She laughed, suddenly remembering Tara's hairstyle. Oh, fuck. Did it look stupid? Why was she even asking herself that? She didn't care what other people thought.

The rest of the walk was in silence, James occasionally laughing. Lily didn't know why.

—So, family! Here's lil' Lil.— He finally said, stepping aside so Lily could see her parents and Albus.

Ginny hugged her first, then Harry did.

—What a good hairstyle, Lilypad.— said her dad before letting her go.

Albus frowned at her braids when he saw them, as if asking why, and Ginny put one behind Lily's ear -which was a little red.

—So, what if instead of everyone criticizing my hair, we go and fetch my trunk?— she said, laughing and rolling her eyes. —And Alice! She came because of her prefect rounds and because she needs to buy stuff. Presents stuff.— she explained, because her parents wouldn't know why Alice Longbottom was travelling in the Hogwart's Express when her home was at Hogsmeade. That was not the only thing Alice had to do, but no one else needed to know that.

The Potters moved along the station, gathering with the other members of the family and getting the trunks into their respective cars. James was the only eldest of the Weasley's cousins there. Teddy was still at Hogwarts and the others were working or doing something more interesting than going to fetch the "little" ones.

Outside the station, Lily said goodbye to her cousins and aunts and uncles and returned to her conversation with Alice, beside the Potter's car.

—You still want me to go with you, right? Not too personal?— she asked, slowly undoing the braids in her hair. Alice nodded nervously.

—Okay, Ali. Give me a second, I have to convince my mum. I'm sure she will let me come. Just... give me a minute.

Lily moved to the passenger's seat window, where Ginny was patiently waiting for her to say goodbye to her friend. The glass rolled down slowly. James complained about the heat going out and Albus told him something about how the cold was getting inside, not the other way round.

—Mum, I promise I'll be right back home when we finish all the shopping, please, Alice needs me, she isn't very good at picking gifts, you know? And she's all alone. You never want me to be all alone going around on muggle streets, if we are two it's completely diff-

—I didn't say no, Lils. You can go! Just be home before it gets dark.— Ginny usually wasn't very permissive, but she must have suspected they were doing something important.

—Mom! It's winter! It gets dark like at six!— and Lily usually wasn't that hysterical, but she was being extra annoying so she would agree to let her go and do what she wanted.

—Fine! If you are not home by eight, I'm sending your dad with a search party, young lady!

James and Albus cracked up in the backseat and Harry smiled at her from the driver's seat.

—You fucking children— said Lily to her brothers. Harry gave her a bad look and she apologized with her sweetest smile. She was a daddy's girl for sure.

—See you at eight! Bye family!— exagerated the always lovely Lillian Potter and, with a flicker of worry in her brown eyes, she got away from the window.

A Chuddley Cannon's hat hit her head and when she turned around he saw James rolling the window up, bending over Albus. She sticked her tongue out and put the hat on her head.

Harry waited till she saw both girls walking down the street before starting the car. Not that he thought Lily was lying to him, but he was always worried about her.

At a quarter to ten the Potter's door opened. Lily was covered in snow, breathing heavily. She had run the last few blocks, knowing she was extremely late. She looked up and jumped back. There was someone on the hall. She could have screamed.

Albus came running from the living room. Lily frowned.

—Please tell me this is a joke. Please tell me you are not having a secret affair with this guy over here. Please tell me he's not standing in the hall of our ho-

—HARRY!— the screamed echoed all around the house, it came from upstairs.

—Oh, fuck.— said the girl in question, and closed the door behind her, forgetting to question his brother about their companion. She looked sick.

Albus looked anxious.

—Oh, fuck, yes. You bet, Potter. We thought you were dead in the Thames by now.— oh, and she could have been. Damned Malfoy.

—Oh, please, shut up. What are you doing here an-

She shut her mouth when she saw her mother running down the stairs. She stopped in the middle of them. She looked pale and her eyes were red, as if she had spent the last hour crying. When Ginny saw she was okay, she seemed to breathe again.

She started to descend again and Lily thought she was going to hug her.

—Mum I can expl-

—HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR GUEST, LILLIAN! WHICH YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN IF YOU HAD BEEN HERE BY EIGHT LIKE I TOLD YOU TO BE! YOUR FATHER IS SEARCHING FOR YOU! YOUR BROTHER DITCHED HIS FRIENDS TO LOOK FOR YOU! I WAS WORRIED SICK, LILLIAN! WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING? EXPLAIN IT TO ME! EXPLAIN IT TO ME BECAUSE I CAN'T UNDERSTAND! IT'S ALMOST TEN! TWO HOURS, LILLIAN! TWO HOURS THINKING SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU!—

—I.. I...— her mother had started crying again. Lily wanted to die. Albus looked at her with disappointment, Scorpius with something she couldn't describe.

She moved from the door, walking to her mother. She was breathing heavily and was trying really hard not to break down. Ginny was sobbing loudly, with her hands over her face. Lily felt horrible, she had done that to her. And her dad was still out and James too... and... and she couldn't explain. She couldn't betray Alice.

—Mum... I swear I didn-

—But you did, Lillian.— her mum looked at her through her teary eyes. —You have no idea how- You could have called! We even bought you a cellphone! Lily, you have no idea what's like to be a parent! Why didn't you put on my place? I thought you were kidnapped! I thought you were dead! You have never done such a thing! Five minutes is okay, but two hours? You said- Lil-

And she broke down crying again. Lily shrugged, wanting to disappear. She couldn't have called, not even if she had wanted to, her cellphone was on her trunk, she couldn't use it at Hogwarts. Besides, she didn't want them to know. She didn't use magic, either. She couldn't.

She looked at Albus, who didn't look back, but instead went and hugged her mom. That was what she should have been doing, she realized. It was her fault, she should be apologizing, she should be calming her mother. She should have been home by eight. She should have... but...

—We should call dad, mom. We should tell him she's okay. And James. And Uncle Ron.— suggested her brother, calmly. How could he be always calmed?

Lily stared at the floor, hearing the heartbreaking sobs slowly fade away from her mother's voice. She agreed with the only son who had never disappointed her and, without even looking once more at Lily, she went to the kitchen with Albus.

—Sorry— whispered Lily to her mother when she passed in front of her. She didn't seem to notice. Or maybe she ignored it. Lily remained in silence, looking at her violet boots. She hadn't intended for all of that to happen. She was okay, Alice was okay. That was what mattered.

—Where's your scarf?—

—What?— Lily looked up, confused. She had almost forgot he was there. She made sure she wasn't crying by passing her hand over her eyes.

—Your scarf. You had a scarf at the station. Your mother said you left right before they picked you up. Is that blood on your hands?— the redhead had some trouble processing the whole information. Why was he there? How had he noticed the blood? Was there too much? She looked at her own hands. Why was he asking her stuff? At least he was doing it almost in a whisper, because if her mom heard, if Albus heard, Merlin, she was dead. Not that she wasn't already.

Why would he even be a guest in her house? Their parents didn't liked each other, she knew that. Albus wasn't his friend... Bloody hell! Lily jumped back and hit the wall. Ouch. When had he gotten that near? She looked up at him. He took one of her hands and made the palm face up. He frowned. She took her hand back and got as close to the wall as she could.

—I guess I lost my scarf, I don't know where, maybe I left it in the dressing room at Macey's or something. Alice had a lot of bags, it might have fallen into one of them I should ask h-

—We both know you are lying, Potter.— he affirmed with an ice cold certainity in his eyes. She stared back, pressing her lips together. Why was she even trying to lie to him? She didn't owe him a thing, she didn't have to tell him anything. —Look, I'm not saying anything, it's none of my business, but, whatever you are up to, you should tell them.

He couldn't tell her what to do! She knew it was bad, but she couldn't go to her parents and tell them everything. That was crazy, that wasn't going to happen because Alice would kill her.

—You are right, it's none of your business, so stop trying to tell me what I should do. I'm not doing anything, that's what I'm doing.— she spit out, angry at him, angry at herself. —If you tell someone about this, I swear I'll kill you, Malfoy. I will. Don't test me.— and, with that, she slipped to the side, out of his reach, and went up the stairs.

She didn't know the back of her coat was covered in blood. She didn't know she was marked. She didn't know he was looking. She didn't knew he knew.


	4. The Awaken

Ginny was waiting for her husband in the hall, sitting over the steps of the wooden staircase. She wasn't crying anymore. Albus was right by her side, still holding one of her hands, and Scorpius Malfoy behind them. His gray eyes were lost on his own hands and he was frowning so much his eyebrows were almost touching.

He couldn't believe what he had seen. He wasn't sure he was going to be able to keep that secret. He didn't wanted to keep it. Lily Potter was mad if she thought he was afraid of her stupid threath, it was something bigger than both of them. He didn't understand it completely, but he knew it was bad. It was obvious it was bad. Real bad. Why was a girl like Potter involved in that kind of stuff? He thought of telling her parents and getting it out of his mind, but there was something that kept him from doing it. Maybe it was how calm Mrs. Potter was at the moment, maybe it was because he didn't wanted to upset her. Not that he cared about anyone's feelings, but the poor woman had already had enough. For a lifetime - considering the past. Besides, he didn't even knew them that much. It was still weird being there.

—Mrs. Potter, what matters is that she's okay.— said politely the boy with golden hair, trying to make the situation slightly less awkward, trying to drown his thoughts with his speech. He usually didn't care what adults thought of him, but he felt as if he owed her for keeping quiet her crazy daughter's secret. And Ginevra Potter didn't treat him like most adults, like he was a lost cause just because of the family he came from. His personality didn't help, sure, but that kind of treatment was still unfair. He didn't knew exactly why, but crazily, totally uncharacteristically, he could live with being polite to her.

—I know, dear. But she still has some explaining to do. Alice was at her house when we called, she had flooed from George's shop in Diagon Alley after saying goodbye to Lily, George confirmed it. We don't know what she was doing all alone there, for two hours! With the things that are going on you surely must understand... When the minutes passed and she didn't get home... We thought... We thought the worst, we thought she had been taken-

—She's fine, mum, you don't have to... go through that again.— cut her off Albus, who was paler than ever. He didn't wanted to listen again what his parents thought had happened to her sister. It was awful. It seemed imposible, specially because the wizarding world was so safe now... or that was what people thought. That was what Albus had thought until his father had explained to him what had been happening.

He didn't wanted her mother to get anxious again, not after all that had taken to calm her down. He couldn't take the sound of her voice breaking. He didn't like to see her mother crying. He wasn't used to it.

Ginny opened her mouth, but the sound of a key turning made her shut it. She raised and took some steps towards the door. Albus shifted, uncomfortably. Scorpius grinned.

The Profet's journalist threw her arms around her husband as soon as he opened the door. Harry hugged her as tight as he could, breathing heavily. His hair was messy, as if he had been passing his hands through it a lot. His glasses were a little tarnished. Ginny could feel his heart beating loudly.

James slipped inside behind his father, snow covering his hair and clothes. He gave a look to his brother and his companion and a little smile appeared on his face. It showed his relief, but also how tired he was. He closed the door behind him and, watching his face, Albus thought he was going to tell a joke.

—She was lucky. They wer-

—Stop it, James. Lily is safe, nothing happened to her, you don't need to worry your mother.— said the great Harry Potter, as kindly as he could, while he let his wife go. Sometimes his son didn't know when to keep his mouth shut, and that was something he had to learn if he wanted to be a good auror. Or keep the ones he cared about safe. Harry knew that very well.

—No, Harry. I want to know. What's going on? They weren't going aft-

—No. Don't worry, Gin.— his arms were still around her, even if they weren't hugging anymore.

Albus shifted. He had never seen his mother need his father in that way, with such desperation. They didn't touched each other much, and that made Albus eyes flicker with a bit of sadness. It was the only time he had seen his mother so weak. He had never thought of her like that, she had always been so independent, so strong.

They were all quiet for a few seconds, thinking about what could have been, what was and what wasn't.

Malfoy thought it was his chance to come clean, to tell them about the blood over Lily's clothes, to telk them what he knew about the mark. He didn't, because Harry Potter -who didn't look at all intimidating in person- broke the silence first. He spoke to his wife.

—We should go talk to her. Then, I'll tell you whatever you want to know.

The woman nodded. The boys stepped aside the stairs inmediately. James made a weird face, as if he knew exactly what was going to happen when they got upstairs. After all, back in the days, he used to behave like that quite a lot. Always late, always out. Never letting his parents now about his plans. He knew it was going to be worse with Lily, though, she was their little baby and the timing of her misbehaviour was awful.

No one else opened their mouth.

—Thank you for all your help, Scorpius. You had nothing to do with it, but you still went out with Albus in this freezing cold.— said the boy who lived to the son of who had been his enemy a long time ago. Scorpius nodded and whispered an "it was nothing, really". He didn't exactly liked people, but he wasn't that evil, of course he had helped. He was in their home, after all, he was an intruder. He had to behave himself. It wasn't even taking that much effort.

Mrs. Potter smiled tiredly to the handsome teenager that was her guest and followed her husband to their daughter's room.

When Lily heard someone knocking on the door, she jumped, almost falling from her bed. She had already washed her hands and now the scratchs were only barely visible. She still took rhe precaution of keeping the palms outside down, in case anyone noticed. She could make up an excuse, of course, but she had never liked lying very much, and she had been doing that since that morning, and still had a lot of lying to do. Better not to add more things to the list.

—Come in.— she tried to sound sure of herself, innocent. She hoped she had succeeded, because they couldn't suspect anything.

The door opened. His father stepped into the room. His mother was beside him, but Lily only had eyes for Harry. The bags under his eyes -which seemed to be an usual feature in his face- were scarily violet. He was still wearing his coat. He had snowflakes melting in his dark hair. He had a hint of dissapointment in his eyes. Just as Lily had feared. It hurt. A little. A lot.

—Lily, love...— he whispered, sitting beside her, slowly patting her messy cropper hair. Her mom sat in the little sofa she had beside her library, near her bed. She looked worried. Lily wondered what story was she making up in her head, what did she thought she had gotten into. They probably believed she was out drinking. Or smuggling drugs. Or damaging public property.

They looked at each other, but didn't say a thing. Lily put on the best suffering face she had. She hated doing that, but she had to.

—Dad... I'm really sorry, I swear I didn't mean to- Mum, you have to believe me- I really am sorry— the little redhead's gaze came back and forth from her father's and her mother's face. She had no idea what to tell them, she had been thinking that whole time. It was annoying how one ran out of ideas just when one needed them.

Normally, she would have screamed and tell them they didn't have faith in her, she would have gotten into a big fight with her mother and her father would have been the voice of reason, cleaning her angry tears away, but not that night. They disn't deserve it.

—Lily, I get it. But it's not okay. You can't go and come like you wish to. We worry about you, Lily. You didn't say anything, you didn't ask for permission. You are a child, you need your parents. What were you doing? Do you understand you can't do this anymore? There are always bad people going around, baby, you can't walk alone in the dark and expect to be safe. You can't even use magic yet. Of course you should, if you were in an emergency, I don't care about the Ministry, Shackelbot would sort it out, it would be self defense, but, do you get me? We thought something bad had happened to you, Lily... You weren't drinking were you?— the teenager had hoped her dad would speak first, because he was softer, because he tried to understand what she was saying. At least her mom wasn't screaming to her. Anymore. Yet. But she was making stupid assumptions.

—Of course I do, I know. I won't. And I wasn't drinking! I just ran into some friends and we didn't notice the time... I left Alice at Uncle George's so she could get home and I was walking home when I met them. I couldn't just go away, I didn't really wanted to go away, I'm not gonna lie. I wanted to talk to them, they're my friends... I just thought it wouldn't be that long, we just went to grab some butterbeers. I swear I was safe with them, I was even safe by myself, despite what you might thin-

—Lily, dear, listen. I know you are a smart girl, I know you can take care of yourself, but nobody is safe.— there was an awward pause after Harry Potter spoke.

Lily's brown eyes widened with confusion. She looked from Ginny to Harry, waiting.

—You might think evil has been defeated a long time ago, Lils, but one can't just get rid of it. After all, where there is good, there must always be bad.— her dad wasn't kidding, she could always tell when he was, but what could he possibly mean? Did he knew about... Of course he did. Oh, Merlin, she was stupid. Why didn't she think of it before? He probably knew most of it, he was the head of the Aurors. He just didn't suspected his daughter had anything to do with that, right?

The girl's hands gripped her own skinny arms, looking for comfort. Surely his father thought she was frightened, but he didn't even had a hint why.

—Darling, you are safe with us.— her mother moved from the sofa, taking a seat on Lily's other side. She was sourprisingly soft. —We can't explain exactly what these people are doing, but we know our family is probably a target. And I am telling this to you because I trust you, love, not because I want to scare you... Though you should be scare.— Ginny's little giggle got Lily with her guard down. Banshee. They had no idea.

Harry was surprised she wasn't shouting to their daughter, maybe she had already done that before he came in.

—You mom is right, Lilypad. You don't need to know the whole story, specially because we don't even know everything, but I am giving you a warning. These people, Lil, these people are ruthless, cruel. There have been a few attacks the past months, always during the full moon, and that lead people to believe this group -most people in the auror deparment think is a cult- is formed by werewolves. The victims are always muggleborns or what the purebloods liked to call traitors of the blood when your mother and I were younger. Familys that are not completely magical. There are a lot of theories and we are trying yo get to the bottom of it as soon as posible... The locations of the attacks vary, Lily, and today is a full moon. We were afraid...

—Okay, I got it, but fortunately no, I was not attacked. Oh my Merlin, why have you kept this a secret? I wouldn't have been so careless! How is it that nobody found out? Why doesn't anyone know about this? Holy fuck!

—Lily! Don't swear!

—BUT MOM! NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THIS AND PEOPLE ARE GETTING KILLED!— shouted passionately the girl, standing and walking from a side to the other of her room and back. They needed to believe this was serious news to her, that she hadn't known any of this, and that was what she was giving them. A completely normal reaction for a person as dramatic as her.

—Please, love, calm down.— said Harry, standing too, and stopped her pointless walking. —The Ministry has kept it as secret so people won't react how you just did, and because it surely is something that we will be able to control. And we don't want any one trying to copy the manner of the killings or trying to lead us away of the clues. It happens, you know? Very little authorized staff knows about this, Lily, and we are very careful. I need you to keep it to yourself and be safe. You can't go talking around about it, not even as a joke. It is dangerous, Lily, and you could get hurt. We could all get hurt.—

Maybe Lily was acting out, but the tears gathering in her eyes were real. She was afraid. Not because of the reasons her parent thought, but afraid still. She was in trouble, Alice was in trouble. They were already targets. Her father was right to be careful.

—Oh, darling— the loving arms of her mother were suddenly around her, her hands stroking softly her hair. —We won't let anything happen to you. No one is getting hurt— she side eyed Harry, always a bit too over the top without realizing it.

—Your daddy defeated Voldemort, Lils, this can't even be compared, don't worry, baby.—

And she let her mother believe it would all be fine, that they were all safe, how could she possibly tell her otherwise?

—I don't know about you, but I've prepared quite good pasta and that Malfoy kid will eat it all up if you won't.— said James, appearing on the door, breaking the tension, doing Lily the favour of ignoring her ugly crying face.

She was blinded by darkness. She could see no more than a few steps ahead. Suddenly, heavy breathing on her right. On her left. At her back. In front of her. The smell of blood stinking the air, her sweaty wandless hands. Crying, growling. The sudden realization that it had all went wrong, that this was it, that she was dying. The screams. A scream. She woke up. She was the one screaming. She was in her bed. Her heart beating painfully against her chest. Alone. Safe. For now.

She passed a hand over her hair, sweat all over her face, then looked right, at her nightstand. It was four in the morning.

She couldn't bare the thought of getting asleep again. Who knew she what was going to appear in her dreams. It was so vivid, so real... she had almost believed it had happened like that. Thankfull, it hadn't. Thankfully, she was alive to tell it. Or not.

She waited a almost two minutes. Hearing. Waiting. Nobody had seemed to notice. Maybe, they were all still sleeping. Maybe, they thought they had imagined it. Lily ley out a sigh. Too early.

Her father kicked in her door, running to the middle of the room, his wand in his hand. Lily fell down the bed.

"At least" she tought "If something happens to me, he will be here in a second" but she said something else.

—Banshee! Dad! You scared the crap out of me!- blurted out the teenager, sobbing her knee. She had banged it on the floor.

—Then is it everything all right, love?— he asked, as if he hadn't almost broken her door in the middle of the night, helping her stand.

—Yeah... it was just a nightmare...— confessed Lily, ashamed. Her dad didn't mock her. Of course not. Instead, he stayed a while with her like when she was little, protecting her from the monsters that lived under her bed. His arms around her tiny baby girl.

When she fell asleep, his kissed her goodnight - goodmorning?- on the forehead and left the room. His eyes watery. He had missed her, he missed her everyday. It was painfull watching one's kids grow and go about life on their own. And she wasn't even out of the house yet.

After Lily heard the door in her parent's room close, she quietly sat up. It was impossible to get to sleep, even with her daddy taking care of her. She had had to pretend, because she didn't wanted him to worry. No more. Not with everything he already had to worry about.

The stairs were the most difficult part. It was an old house and they screeched like hell. Lily had to move slowlier than a slug.

When she finally reached the floor, she let out the air she had been holding, and made her way across the living room.

She almost screamed when she saw somone staring at her in the shadows, but instead she grabbed the closer thing and threw it in the person's direction. It was the tv remote. Lily made it to the door, not even waiting to see the damage she had caused. She couldn't get any further. The person was now holding her arm.

—Is that how you treat your guests, Potter? First you threat them and then you throw things at their heads? And not even a pillow, but a fucking tv remote.— his words were a whisper, but she could hear perfectly fine that he was mocking her. Lily got away from his hands, frowning.

—Oh, shut up. How was I supposed to know you were sleeping in my stupid sofa? Jame's room is free, it's actually very stupid of you to not-

—Stop babbling idiotic things, Lillian. Your brother stayed for the night. And you would know it if you had been paying attention over dinner. You thought he would go home after the scare you gave them all? I used to think you were selfish but, today, I am completely sure you are.— and he turned his back on her, returning to the sofa. Why was he even calling her by first name?

—And I've always been completely sure you are and asshole.— she growled, and made her way to the kitchen.

—Also, keep your disgusting hands of me.— she added, turning to watch him for a second, and pushed the door.

She didn't imagine he would follow her, she thought she had been pretty clear. She rolled her eyes and faced him.

—Stay out of my fucking w-

—Woah, Potter, the world doesn't turn around you. Shall add sel-centered to your qualities?— and, effectively, he wasn't going after her. He was just getting some water. But he had to do it now, obviously.

—Selfish and self-centered are basically the same thing— she said, not even bothering, while she grabbed for a bag of chips.

—If that's the case, brave and stupid might be synonyms too.— his cold eyes were fxed on her face and, even if she tried to ignore them, she misserably failed. —Why do you think your boyfriend's parents are dead?—

OH, NO. OH, NO, HE HADN'T. He had crossed the lines. By far. She couldn't keep calm anymore. Even if Teddy wasn't her boyfriend, he was family. She cared a lot about him. More than she should. And he had just... she couldn't believe the twat. He was an awful person.

—You are going to fucking behave in my house or I'm going to kick you out like right now, I don't fucking care if you have nowhere to go, Malfoy, you are fucking evil and you know what? Your family should have been in Tonks and Remus's place, because at least they fucking deserved it.— she was angry now, she wasn't keeping it low, she was almost slamming her fists on his chest, but she was too disgusted to touch him. Maybe she was also crossing the line, but her anger boiled in her veins and she couldn't keep it under control.

—Oh, you think you are hurting me, I see. They did deserve it, though.— was what he whispered, his calm gaze contrasting with Lily's turbulent one. —But, you know, Lillian. You are just as awful as I am. A poor misfit like me. You have secrets you think you can keep, Potter, but they are too big for you to hold. And I know them too. But not for longer, because you and your stupid selfish little mind will get us all killed.— he was hitting her head, softly, but still. He even had the glass of water in his other hand, as if it was a casual conversation about the weather, as if he was explaining a little child how the world was. But Lily needed no explaining, specially not from him, she already knew that.

She threw the closed bag of chips in his face and stormed out of the room. He was so fucking pretentious. He wasn't even worth her time.


End file.
